Hi, everyone. Okay, so I know I disappeared suddenly without a trace. I tend to do that when its exam time. Ugh, the life of a student.
I just wanted to post something, so that you guys know that I haven’t abandoned this really awesome hobby of mine. And, also to tell you that after this week, I will be posting so much that you’d be scratching your eyes out with a spoon (a few weeks without posting can do that to ya).
So, let me give you a little insight into what was going on in my life lately; I’ve been studying. That’s basically it. Oh, my Gosh, I live a sad life.
However, I am extremely proud of myself because despite of obstacles that were scattered in my path, I have stepped over them, worked around them and embraced them. I feel like I have become the best version of me. As this year draws to an end, I have felt that I have found who I am and what I want to be even if that means that I no longer want to do what I did or if I want to continue doing what I do. I have discovered that being the best version of me for myself is all that matters.
I have realized what I want in life and I don’t think anyone can stop me from getting what I want. My sister said something to me recently which struck a cord with me. She and my mom were discussing my blog and how it might get in the way of my studies, when she said, “If she wants to post something that’s on her mind, she will do it and no one will stop her.” I don’t think her intention was for that to impact me as much as it did but it has.
See, the thing is I never knew she thought of me this way. Heck, I never saw myself this way. The mere fact that she, my sister, saw me this way is very eye-opening to me. I tend to have a low self-esteem. I think a lot of people do whether they want to admit it or not. This is the first time that I am admitting this to myself and the world alike. Thinking negative thoughts about myself is what I do often. Not a lot of people know this, my own mother doesn’t even know this. And, that lady knows everything about me.
The thing with thinking negative about yourself, is that you never have time to appreciate yourself. Appreciating what you can do, what you’ve achieved and all your talents and skills. If my sister views me as someone who expresses whats on her mind, then what are other peoples perception of me? What I realized is that I so often put myself down that I forget to take a compliment for what it is. A compliment. Something meaningful and of value.
I didn’t know that I was a person who went for what they want. I always boasted about the fact that I’m a person that knows what I want out of life and maybe to an extent that is true but then I turn around I see that there is so much more that I don’t know about myself. And, I’m okay with discovering myself. I want to take my time and have a date with myself. Have you dared to try that lately? Are you okay with getting to know yourself? Will you be okay with what you find?