It isn’t Enough

Dear mom and dad

Sometimes in life, you need a constant. It could mean different things to different people. And at the risk of sounding cliche, you guys are my constant, my rock. I doubt that’ll ever change for me.

All I want to say is thank you. But thank you doesn’t do justice to what you guys did and keep doing for me.

Thank you isn’t enough for the late nights spent up with me, thank you isn’t enough for the hard work, dedication, sweat and tears that went into raising a child like me.

Thank you isn’t enough for the band aids applied to scraped knees and bruised elbows. Thank you isn’t enough for the soft words uttered when repairing my bruised ego. Thank you isn’t enough for the gentle kisses that kissed my imaginary bruises as a child.

Thank you isn’t enough for the tireless hours spent working to put me through school, university and everything in between. Thank you isn’t enough for the hours spent at lame parent-teacher meetings just reminding you that you raised a good kid.

Thank you isn’t enough for the fun vacations that put a hole in your pocket. Thank you isn’t enough for the off days which turned into fun getaways. Thank you isn’t enough for the never ending adventures that never seized to amaze me.

Thank you isn’t enough for all the times we’ve had bread in the house, food in our tummies, never knowing what it is to go hungry. Thank you isn’t enough for the constant roof over our heads. Thank you isn’t enough for us always being clothed.

Thank you isn’t enough for your unwavering support. Thank you isn’t enough for believing in my dreams no matter how bizarre. Thank you isn’t enough for treating me like a queen and teaching me never to expect anything less.

Thank you isn’t enough for all the times I cried on your shoulders when my fragile heart shattered. Thank you isn’t enough for the beliefs that you passed on to me, making me who I am today. Thank you isn’t enough for being my first teacher, teaching me invaluable lessons that linger.

Thank you isn’t enough for teaching me to stand up for what I believe in. Thank you isn’t enough for the invaluable lesson of being firm. Thank you isn’t enough for teaching me that you don’t always have to blindly follow the masses.

Thank you isn’t enough for the late night teas and sweet somethings that was always constant. Thank you isn’t enough for the manners that is forever inculcated in me. Thank you isn’t enough for all the chores, lectures and reprimands that turned into lessons.

Thank you isn’t enough for showing me what pure love is. Thank you isn’t enough for raising me. Thank you isn’t enough for what I’ve become. Thank you isn’t enough for what I can still be. Thank you isn’t enough for the great job you did and are still doing.

You don’t deserve a simple thank you, it’s not enough. Thank you just simply isn’t enough. And because thank you just simply isn’t enough for all the times you were by side. I will try my best to prove to you guys how grateful I am to have you. Because I owe you a million times over and that still isn’t enough. But I’ll be damned if I don’t try in earnest to show you every damn day just how grateful I am because you deserve nothing less.

Sincerely,
Your youngest kid

~Poppie Tee

 

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Dramatics.

December 27, 2015

I intended to sleep late this morning as it is my last day. However, that did not go as planned, I woke before my alarm even went off and I couldn’t for the life of me go back to sleep. All because of that gushing waterfall. I know, I know, I should be at one with nature and all that but isn’t sleep also natures course? I know I’m being dramatic but I’ve been running on at least four hours of sleep a day. The only time when I do sleep is during the day with the flies bugging me.

Okay, I’m done ranting. With a cup of coffee in me and a few left over baked beans, I set off to start writing. Hear that? Contentment. Uh, no, wait, it’s… Barking. Dogs barking. Puppies to be exact. Escaping from their place of rest. Aw, they’re so cute! I bet their owners adore-

-Oh, my gosh. Those pesky little mutts. They ran right towards me! I couldn’t even defend myself. I ran right into my parents’ little camping spot, waking my parents up in a panic and hid in their little bungalow watching how the little puppies dismantled our camping spot from the safety of my parents’ humble abode. My parents went on sleeping when I told them what was going on, dismissing me and telling me that they’re just playful little dogs. Did they just momentarily forget that I am highly afraid of dogs? Ugh, those little buggers are not cute anymore. Oh, no. They’re Satan’s evil little balls of fur.

Once they were gone, I went walking again on my normal route but I felt jumpy all the way. The sheep were already out, staring at me like I ate their young. Who even eats sheep meat? I sure don’t. The horses kept on giving me the side eye, coming all near the fence as if to jump it and attack me. The goats were a bit agitated trying to escape to beyond the fence and to my dismay they succeeded. I ran back so fast not looking back. I do not feel safe. I know, I’m probably in the safest place and I’m being just a tad dramatic but still. Today is my last day and I don’t want to leave on a bad note. I’m determined to make my day better despite my morning.

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After my walk and when the rest of the world woke up, I decided to take a walk up to the waterfalls just to sit and take it in. I needed that. That felt good until I felt a spider climbing on me. Nope, I’m outta here. Went back to the camp site and we just lounged around, sat under the shade on towels and had our own little picnic. It  was nice. We went up to the waterfalls several times during the day just to cool off, once we made it back to the camp spot again, our clothes were dry again. That’s how scorching it was.

These last three days were phenomenal. Family time, nature time and writing time. What more could you ask for? I have learned so much about myself during these pass three days. I’ve learn’t that I’m a bit overly dramatic… Okay, a lot. These past few days has taught me to be thankful for family, that we’re in the 21st century, electricity, having all my senses, paved roads,WiFi and other mundane stuff that I take for granted everyday. Now, it’s off to work and a new me in 2016.

“But there’s a beginning in an end, you know? It’s true that you can’t reclaim what you had, but you can lock it up behind you. Start fresh.”
Alexandra Bracken, The Darkest Minds

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~Poppie Tee

Do Nothing Day.

December 26, 2015

Determined not to let the horses get the best of me, I went down to the little farm again. I watched the animals run to the gates for their food. It’s amazing how animals are able to adapt. Pavlov’s Classical conditioning and all that.

Besides the horses giving me the stink eye all because I accidentally enticed him with an apple and then took it away and the goats climbing on the roofs, it turned out pretty normal.

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You can honestly find goats on the weirdest shi*t

By 7 in the morning it was scorching hot already, I don’t know how people manage to sleep late in tents. I always get up before the sun even tries touch my tent.

After my morning walk, I had a hearty breakfast of crackers and tuna (hey, it’s camp; no one feels like cooking).

Because today was so hot we decided to do nothing, just lounging around in the shade, eating watermelon and sipping juice.

Just before sunset we hiked to the waterfall again, got lost along the way twice (I still don’t know how that happened) but we made it. It turned into more of a photo shoot than a hike but the journey was fun.

We had braai for supper and ate while the sun was going down. We then made a bonfire, had a few laughs, some steaming coffee (because camp makes you so tired that you have to force your eye lids open) and we called it a day.

Slow down and look around you,
Throw your to-do list away!
The clouds look like sheep and vice versa,
Let’s have a do nothing day.
– Jeremy and the Incidentals (Phineas and Ferb)

~Poppie Tee

Hungry horses, evil eyes and throbbing hands

December 25, 2015

Early up this morning, wanted to run but decided it wouldn’t be safe as I do not know this place. Camera, apple, walking shoes? Check.

I set off down the gravel road because tackling the hiking trail alone today did not seem appealing. I wanted to see the animals. And, indeed, I saw animals.

At the office of this place there is a farm with mostly sheep, goats and horses. I first came across the sheep, cute little buggers, reminded me of Mary’s little lamb but good Lord, do they stink! And praise the almighty that they were in their little section with a fence separating us, I did not want to be chased by a sheep.

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Next was the goats. These buggers have weird, crazy-looking eyes and long-ass goatees. Reminded me of some bad guy in a movie playing his role real bad.

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The horses. Ah, gosh. Before I say anything further; let’s just establish that this would be my first up close (kind of) and personal encounter with a horse.

So, I’m there, snapping pictures of this one majestic horse with my huge camera and a half-eaten apple in my hand. I get bolder and move a little closer to the fence, snapping pictures, la-di-da. No care in the world when all of a sudden the horse looks up, looks me (I swear to God) in the eye and walks closer. At this point, I’m freaking out because this huge, majestic animal is coming straight at me. I. Am. Flipping. Out. In my haste to get away I almost trip. Almost. This huge animal is by the fence now and it looks like he could easily walk through it. I stand in the middle of the gravel road dead still, my eyes never leaving him and I fall. Hard on my bottom. I never understood how people could just fall over with doing anything and there I went did it, I don’t know how but I did it. Trust me to have a traumatic first encounter. And all the horse wanted was my freaking apple!

Now, I’m currently sitting sitting on a rock waiting for the world to wake up as it’s only 7 in the morning. I’ve been up for three hours already. What does the day still have in store for me?

So, the rest of the morning was pretty chilled. Slept for an hour after my traumatic experience and then we drove pass two ghost towns, came home and braaied, you know, the norm.

We came to our camping spot, ate huge watermelons and spoke of this and that. We decided to go for a short hike to, the reason the place is named 22 Waterfalls, the actual waterfalls.  We hiked for a short while and came across the first waterfall. Beauty. The  10 grand camera doesn’t do it justice.

Then we came across what I would from now on be referring to as the “stairway” leading to heaven. It even had a gate! Now, I’m not an experienced hiker, traveler or photographer. I had tried my best to go even further up but because going up alone did not appeal to me and I didn’t want to risk my family members’s lives (JK, I was scared out of my mind that I’ll fall to my death and that is not how I plan to leave this world). But anyway, we went up to the second one of the 22 waterfalls (I know, scary right? Hey, don’t judge the mountain is steep). Magnificent. Words cannot describe the beauty and I’m not even going to attempt to.

 

I was terrified going up and coming down that I’d somehow injure myself. But, alas, I came out unscathed until we were by the campsite and I cut my hand on a key. A. Freaking. Key. Are you kidding me? I could have laughed at the irony if my hand wasn’t throbbing right now.

After I got cleaned up and bandaged up by my mom. We ended the day with a bonfire, some crackers, popcorn and a steaming cup of coffee, not forgetting the ghost stories. With my feet (and hand) throbbing, I know today was a good day.

“Each new day is a blank page in the diary of your life. The secret of success is in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can.”
Douglas Pagels

~Poppie Tee

Off we go…

First installment of my three day adventure. This is a personal journal entry of a very inexperienced adventurer who is way out of her comfort zone. I hope you enjoy.


December 24, 2015

Leaving the house was a debacle in itself. Who knew you had to pack your whole house up in order to go camping? Anyway, with our house packed up and me bobbing with excitement to leave the house when all of a sudden we can’t seem find the car keys! We searched the house inside and out, had to unpack the car until we ended up finding it more than an hour later. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating just a little but still we literally only left an hour later.

On the road, armed with snacks we headed to our destination. Now, my tummy was in uproar. I was super nervous about where we were headed, I’ve no clue where this place is and the fact that there is no electricity is starting to freak me out now. Why am I this freaked out? I put my earphones in and tuned out the world while watching the scenery pass by.

Finally, two tummy-turning hours later, the long never-ending road up north comes to an end and we come across a narrow, gravel road. Ever drove on a gravel road in a bakkie? No? Some people like it but I don’t. I was shaking in places I never knew could shake, I thought the bakkie was going to fall apart.

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What South Africans call a 4×4 Bakkie

A place called 22 Waterfalls

Reaching 22 Waterfalls. A dog barks in the background but all that catches my eye is the horses. Beautiful , majestic horses. I just wanted to touch them  but there was no time for that. We checked in and drove on.

Sheep. Holy Lordy. Sheep walking around freely. I’m going to sleep in a measly tent with sheep on the loose? I think I might have a panic attack or anxiety attack. Which ever is worse I’m having it.

Driving on, we search for our spot. It’s hidden in the trees on a little incline, it’s so cute and tiny. I think I’m in love. Ugh, I’m such a contradiction. There is a little river right opposite that sounds like a freaking huge, gushing waterfall. I love it.

We unpack and set up camp. Geez, I probably lost a few kilos just doing that. My soft hands are now filled with little scratches and scabs. Ugh, that’s going to take a while to heal.

With our camp set up and all the hard work done. I arm myself with the camera and head out to explore the rays of the setting sun on the beautiful mountainous region.

As I walk around and I come across a very steep… ladder? Staircase? I don’t know. Anyway, I tackle it and get a bit into it with some bushes but I make it out alive, scratched but alive.

My, God. Was that not worth it. At the top is a dam, sort of hidden. But the view? Phenomenal. A breathtakingly stunning sun just a few hours shy of going under.

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Sun going under by the dam – 22 Watervalle

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I go back to my camp spot dirty, tired but satisfied. After I’ve cleaned up, I sit down to write with a steaming cup of coffee under the stars with the bugs flying around me and the crickets chirping in the background and I feel content.

“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough”
Walt Whitman

~Poppie Tee

Dude, do you even read?

Ever since exams has ended, I have felt that I need a bit of a break and as result I have been doing some light reading and catching up with some TV series. Here are a list of some of the books I have read since then:

Night Film by Marisha Pessl
This book is a literal page-turner. Thrilling? Suspenseful? Haunting? Sign me up. This book had me reeling in the end. I loved the way the author was so dedicated to the characters and the story line, the amount of research that went into this book is astonishing. The extra effort that was put into this book alone, will have your mind blown. Trust me, pick up a copy.

10 Steps to earning Awesome Grades (while studying less) by  Thomas Frank
Okay, I admit, I kind of read this before exams but I didn’t think you’d mind if I threw this in the mix because after all, this is a very good read for earning awesome grades. Informative, quick and fun. This book is a surprisingly quick read despite it having so much information that’s already broken into the most simplest form ever and it’s written by a recent college graduate himself. I really loved Frank’s wit and charm that was clearly evident in his writing.

Burying water, Becoming Rain, Chasing River and Surviving Ice by K.A. Tucker
I’m surprised and disappointed that these were my first Tucker books. Where have you been all my life, Tucker? I’m not going to lie, it took me a while to get into the first book but once I was through and I finished burying water, I immediately went and read the others in the series; Becoming Rain, Chasing River and Surviving Ice. Best quick reads ever.

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Cape Town Coastline

The butterfly house by Marcia Preston
I think that my genre of reading is slowly changing. It seems I have a penchant for suspense novels. Weird. Anyway, this is a lovely book. I consider it a nice holiday read. Intricately dealing with love and lost, past and present.


 

That’s it for now, folks. If you have any suggestions, let me know and I might just check it out and review it for you, if you want. Also, some of the books that I have read, have been reviewed on either Goodreads or Readers warehouse. Go check it out.

~Poppie Tee

Touring Familiar Streets

Tuesday was my fun-filled day. I explored Cape Town. Gosh, I love my city.

My friend and I decided to take the bus into Town and have a coffee date. My experience from my suburb to Town was interesting to say the least -I should note that this is technically my first bus drive since way back when. Anyway, we boarded the bus and spoke like rapid fire at which point people kept on giving us the stink eye because it was clearly too early to be having a conversation on the bus let alone screech at the top of our lungs but the rest of the passengers (us included) were in for a another surprise early in the morning. An old oke gets up and starts, I kid you not, preaching. He stands in the middle of the bus with a bible and a crucifix and he decides to tell us about his past, how he found Jesus, how he wasn’t always like this and how we should also ask for forgiveness. Which was so nice to see, he had lots of peoples attention for like the first three times he repeated the same thing. So, our entertainment for the morning was sorted and our conversation come to a halt.

We got off the bus, walked onto the parade in Town and I was totally in awe of the what I saw; the building opposite, the City Hall is magnificent. So beautiful. The structure, the antique style, everything was just too much to put into words.

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City Hall, Cape Town. This picture does not do justice but to be fair I was kind of scared of being robbed hence the crappy picture.

We roamed around Town for a bit until we come to the main reason we even went on this trip; Truth Coffee. Boy, was the whole trip worth it. If you’re ever in Town, this Cafe is a must. Listed by Telegraph UK as the #1 coffee shop in the world, I’d have to agree. Their theme is, to say the least, unique. It reminded me of a grungy mechanics store with a warm feel and a delicious smell.

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Truth Coffee

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Then we painted the town an even deeper shade of red, walking into quaint stores and marveling at the beautiful architecture and little bargins.

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This is made of books!! ~ This can found at the Cape Town Library.

We came across another gem; Charly’s Bakery. This little bakery located in District 6, is the home of Charly’s Cake Angels. The cakes are to die for and quite cheap considering its basically heaven in your mouth.

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Charly’s Bakery, District 6, Cape Town.

So, with our belly’s filled with heaven we marched on and took a taxi to Sea point to rest our feet a bit at the beach. We also received free entertainment of people paragliding off Signal Hill and landing on the beach front. We stayed until late afternoon, then took a taxi back to Town and from there a bus back home.

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Sea Point
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Landed
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Loins Head and a small part of Table Mountain can be seen in the background.

To say the day was a success is an understatement. I utterly enjoyed being a tourist in my own city. I will most definitely do it again. Have you ever been a tourist in your own city?

~Poppie Tee

Will you date yourself?

Hi, everyone. Okay, so I know I disappeared suddenly without a trace. I tend to do that when its exam time. Ugh, the life of a student.

I just wanted to post something, so that you guys know that I haven’t abandoned this really awesome hobby of mine. And, also to tell you that after this week, I will be posting so much that you’d be scratching your eyes out with a spoon (a few weeks without posting can do that to ya).

So, let me give you a little insight into what was going on in my life lately; I’ve been studying. That’s basically it. Oh, my Gosh, I live a sad life.

However, I am extremely proud of myself because despite of obstacles that were scattered in my path, I have stepped over them, worked around them and embraced them. I feel like I have become the best version of me. As this year draws to an end, I have felt that I have found who I am and what I want to be even if that means that I no longer want to do what I did or if I want to continue doing what I do. I have discovered that being the best version of me for myself is all that matters.

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I have realized what I want in life and I don’t think anyone can stop me from getting what I want. My sister said something to me recently which struck a cord with me. She and my mom were discussing my blog and how it might get in the way of my studies, when she said, “If she wants to post something that’s on her mind, she will do it and no one will stop her.” I don’t think her intention was for that to impact me as much as it did but it has.

See, the thing is I never knew she thought of me this way. Heck, I never saw myself this way. The mere fact that she, my sister, saw me this way is very eye-opening to me. I tend to have a low self-esteem. I think a lot of people do whether they want to admit it or not. This is the first time that I am admitting this to myself and the world alike. Thinking negative thoughts about myself is what I do often. Not a lot of people know this, my own mother doesn’t even know this. And, that lady knows everything about me.

The thing with thinking negative about yourself, is that you never have time to appreciate yourself. Appreciating what you can do, what you’ve achieved and all your talents and skills. If my sister views me as someone who expresses whats on her mind, then what are other peoples perception of me? What I realized is that I so often put myself down that I forget to take a compliment for what it is. A compliment. Something meaningful and of value.

I didn’t know that I was a person who went for what they want. I always boasted about the fact that I’m a person that knows what I want out of life and maybe to an extent that is true but then I turn around I see that there is so much more that I don’t know about myself. And, I’m okay with discovering myself. I want to take my time and have a date with myself. Have you dared to try that lately? Are you okay with getting to know yourself? Will you be okay with what you find?

~Poppie Tee

Read-a-thon

So, Dewey’s 24 hour Read-a-thon will be taking place in a few minutes and I’m crazy excited. I only decided to do this a few hours ago. I was inspired by The little blog of Stuff to take part in this challenge.

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READ-A-THON!!

I know this post might seem rushed but I’m excited to read! So, this is the pre-party post which just requires you to answer a few questions. Here goes:

1.What fine part of the world are you reading from today?

Cape Town, South Africa. The Mother City. I got mad love for this city!

2. Which book in your book stack are most looking forward to? 

Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi. The book just looks super cool and the blurb! Oh and not forgetting the reviews; all good.

3. Which snack are you most looking forward to?

Apple and peanut butter sandwiches. Yum!

4. Tell us something about yourself!

Well, if you haven’t guessed it, I’m a major booknerd. I love my country. I tend to have really long explanations of things that are rather irrelevant. I’m a total girly-girl, so I really love shoes (Heels!) and make-up. I’d love to talk all day about me but I have to wrap this up now because it’s almost time. Eeeep!

5. If you participated in the last read-a-thon, what’s the one thing you’ll do differently? Or if this is your first time, what are you most looking forward to?

READING!! (And snacking but mostly reading.)

You can follow me on Twitter, which is the platform I’ll be using to updates my followers.

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~Poppie Tee

The answer to life is simple: Live it

Dying young. That is what is happening in life today. Babies not reaching an age where they are able to walk, young adults are not living long enough to feel alive or to fall in love, a teenager so full of life now won’t live to see their 21st birthday.

So, why in this beautifully manipulated place are we still worried about trivial things? I’ll tell you; we’re worried about that because that is what life is made of. Whether we just want to say YOLO or whatever, truth is, we don’t really mean it. We say all these meaningless things, make promises that we have no intention of keeping yet we don’t know what’s in plan for us.

In actual fact, we can’t help but worry about trivial things like first dates, bills and what will be for lunch tomorrow because that’s the order of the day and that essentially is what life consists of. All these motivational speakers are telling us to ‘take a leap of faith’ or to ‘live life’ but how can we live life if we don’t even know what living is? What constitutes as ‘being alive’? Is it living life to the fullest; walking on coals and going shark-cage diving? Or is it living a mundane life, doing normal work and worrying the petty things but being happy?

If I asked you what living life is and you gave me anything similar to the above answers then you’re right. Obviously, you won’t be wrong because each of us has our own way of living life, doing what makes us happy. However, what most people don’t understand is that when motivational speakers and so forth, say life live they don’t mean quit your job and spend your time traveling the world with your loved ones. No, what they mean is that you need to find what makes you live your life and if living your life means spending time with your family then do so. If living life means escaping to your happy place by diving into your favourite novel then do so but don’t do it on account that you forget to visit your family or that you don’t go to work because you need to be happy.

Living life, being happy is doing your chores and then relaxing, being happy is going to that nine to five, be happy there and then come home to your family, spend the night with them because you provide for them to be happy and it makes you happy to see them happy. People often tend to think that living life means just doing what makes you happy and doing what you’re passionate about but what they don’t understand is that you have to take the ‘crappy with the happy.’ Someone making you frustrated at work; shed a few tears, have a meltdown but then, soon after, you pick yourself up and dust yourself off, hold your head high and don’t let them get to you again because that’s how we deal with life. That’s how we live it.

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~Poppie Tee